WTF…?

What’s up, world!!! Are you ready for me?! Probably. I’m not actually a big deal, I just pretend to be. But now that you have cyber-met me, you can go tell all your friends and one or two of your enemies that you know…*schreechy guitar solo + drumroll*…Kri$ti (at the disco!). An ex-boyfriend once described me as a little bit hippie and a little bit Ke$ha. I ditched him but I kept the tagline. It kind of rocks.

Here is my theme song:

So my name is really just Kristi but people like to call me Kri$ti. You can call me either, but if you call me K.C. that would be weird because only my dad’s side of the family calls me that. If you need help pronouncing Kri$ti it helps to strike a superstar pose when you start to say the $ part. I’m from Phoenix, Az but moved to Las Vegas in the beginning of 2010 for a job. No, not that kind of job. I moved out here to become a desert tortoise biologist for a private environmental consulting firm.

 

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Here’s a picture of me not taking things seriously at work in 2010

 

As an environmental consultant I hang out on construction sites and make sure they follow all their environmental laws, most especially the not-killing of desert tortoises. What that really means is that I’m a giggly girl with funky-colored hair in a pink hard hat, skipping around construction sites talking to & tortoise-training all the guys out there to make sure that nobody pulls a BP, chasing down and proudly displaying any critters that dare venture onto my project site, and bringing charisma to the construction project. They call me turtle girl, I remind them of their daughters, and they bring me snacks and news clippings about science because they think that I know every biologist in the world.

I’ve had a bunch of other field biology jobs and I’ve done some traveling that you’re probably jealous of. My big plan is to update this bad boy with my current field bio-adventures, random desert explorations & new obsessions with canyoneering & mountain biking, while simultaneously throwing back to cool things I did back in the day. I know, it’s a lot to juggle, but I feel like it would be wasteful to ignore all my past awesomes, such as doing a 200 ft free-hanging rappel down a waterfall in Costa Rica in 2006 and studying baby sea lions in Baja Mexico in 2008. So throw me on your Google reader and pretend to be immensely interested in my life.

Here’s a picture of me when I had a mullet in 1991

The best part is that this bio-blog (catchy, huh?) comes with a guarantee! If you do not like what you read 100%, you don’t have to keep it. This is a promise that you can only get a few other places, like REI. I once returned hiking boots there that I’d walked 10 miles a day in for a month. They were completely beat to shit and I told REI that they didn’t fit, which was true. They said “cool, here’s your money back.” This is kind of like that, except online. The only thing that doesn’t work with this promise is if you read the blog and try to copy what I do but end up getting really hurt or dying. I can’t take responsibility for your stupidity because I can barely even take responsibility for my cat. Ask her, she’s in completely incapable hands. But she loves me, and I love her, and we try to make it work. Maybe this can work, too.

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